Boosters are the hidden engine that keep the world of college sports running. They are constantly giving money to hire and fire coaches, build facilities, and pay recruits to come to their schools (no, your school is not innocent). Every school has boosters, but what makes a great booster? The qualities of a great booster that we will investigate today are money, power, generosity, legacy, willingness to break the rules, ability to control the press, party skills, and "I do what I want-ness." Put all these together and you have the ultimate college sports booster. Let's build that perfect booster using these attributes.
PHIL KNIGHT'S MONEY
Nike co-founder Phil Knight is worth 35 billion dollars. That's 35 BILLION, with a B.
That's more than enough to help fund a collegiate athletic program. Knight has so much money that he threw his own basketball tournament (2017 PK80) for his 80th birthday. Simply put, the man has cash, and the man loves sports. That's what you need money-wise from your school's star booster.
credit: wsj.com
Side Note: He looks like George Costanza's Dad from Seinfeld, look it up.
T. BOONE PICKENS' GENEROSITY
Rest in Peace to Mr. T. Boone Pickens, who gave 652 million dollars to Oklahoma State during his lifetime. That total amount includes both academic and athletic donations, but according to the University he gave half of that money to academics and the other half to the athletic department. So if my math checks out that's 326 million dollars that went from the coffers of T. Boone Pickens to the athletic department. He also has the record for biggest single gift to an athletic department with his 165 million dollar gift in 2005. The official University website quotes Pickens as saying, "I like making money. I like giving it away... not as much as I like making it, but it's a close second." What a generous man.
T. BOONE PICKENS' POWER
credit: apnews.com
Our buddy T. Boone is back again because whatever he said to the Oklahoma State athletic department was the law. Y'all know the stories, every year Mike Gundy was rumored to be out of a job because T. Boone was tired of him, but Mr. Pickens never pulled the trigger. Sure, his power came with the generosity that he showed to the University, but he also cared so much about the success of the athletic department that he stopped at no length to make sure that everything was to his liking. He might as well have been the AD, everyone knew who was calling the shots anyways.
PAUL BRYANT JR'S LEGACY
credit: alabama.rivals.com
When you're the son of Bear Bryant, you can do whatever you want in the state of Alabama. That's what Paul Bryant Jr. has, and is something that every great booster needs. They need some sort of legacy at their school. Most boosters graduated from the school they support, but their legacy is just being an alum who got super rich and gave a bunch of money. To really be the ultimate super booster you need more than that. You need something like being the son of a storied football coach. Imagine you're a football recruit on your official visit at Alabama. Saturday afternoon Paul Bryant Jr comes up to you in the football offices, slips you 500 bucks, and says, "I really wish my dad could've coached you. He would've loved your game." How do you not commit as soon as that happens? Sure, every booster can do hundred dollar handshakes, but only the elite can also share a legacy.
NEVIN SHAPIRO'S WILLINGNESS TO BREAK THE RULES
credit: nytimes.com
An elite booster is one that stops at nothing to help his school win. If a coach needs to get fired he pays the buyout, if a top recruit needs convincing he buys him a new car, an elite booster always goes the extra mile. Nevin Shapiro did just that at Miami. Pretty much every football and basketball recruit that set foot in Coral Gables between 2000-2010 received something from Shapiro. He gave cars, money, trips, parties, TVs, jewelry; you name it, he gave it to an athlete. This is textbook boostering right here. No expense was spared in his pursuit of making Miami the king of college sports. He was omnipresent in Coral Gables, and there was no rule he could not break. This included actual laws as Shapiro is in jail for running a 930 million dollar ponzi scheme. So yeah, that's a slight problem. It's also a little bit of a problem that he got caught providing all of these benefits, but that's not the point right now. To be the ultimate booster you have to be willing to break all NCAA rules when necessary. You need Nevin Shapiro's willingness to break the rules.
CHRISTY GAYLORD EVEREST'S ABILITY TO CONTROL THE LOCAL PRESS
Oklahoma booster Christy Gaylord Everest was the CEO of Oklahoma's biggest newspaper, The Oklahoman. This is important because she can control the local media and ensure that the University and the athletic department always look good in the paper. If a coach she likes is struggling, she can make sure that nothing bad is said. If a team sees a promising campaign turn ugly, well it was just a rebuilding year anyways. This also means she can keep potential whistle blowers from snooping around the athletic offices in Norman while she drops bags. Gotta play chess while everyone else is playing checkers.
JOE JAMAIL'S PARTY SKILLS
credit: bostonglobe.com
The late Joe Jamail could party like few boosters can. Yes, I know every booster has money, but few could hang with Joe Jamail. He was a lawyer who represented Texaco in their 1985 case against Pennzoil. He spent the night before his closing arguments out drinking with his good friends Darrell K. Royal and Willie Nelson. When asked about the night Jamail said, "I tried telling them that this was the biggest damn case of my life, hell, of anybody's life and that I needed to prepare. But they weren't having any part of it. They kept me up all fucking night drinking. I could barely see straight the next morning." Naturally, Jemail would win that case the next morning. This ability to party, and stories like these, is how you get the kids to listen to the old rich guys. If Jemail can hang, then yeah, the high school stud will stick around to talk to him after some money exchanges hands. He'll think that the booster is actually cool, and not just because he has money. You never know, if Jemail can party like that then maybe he'll throw a party for the athletes with that money he has. A booster that can hang is way more appealing than a booster who is just an old rich guy.
DON LEEBERN JR'S "I DO WHAT I WANT-NESS"
The University of Georgia does the bidding of Don Leebern Jr. He basically appointed himself to the school's board of regents, he gave the University president job to Michael Adams (who he knew would do his bidding), he had an affair with the Georgia gymnastics coach, he got his son a spot on the University's Athletic Association's Board of Directors, and he got Vince Dooley fired as head football coach. Things in Athens get done with the snap of Leebern's fingers, and he does whatever he wants. This is essential to being an elite booster. You have to have control, you have to make everyone else play by your rules.
So let's recap the ultimate college sports booster that we just built with...
Phil Knight's Money
T. Boone Pickens' Generosity
T. Boone Pickens' Power
Paul Bryant Jr's Legacy
Nevin Shapiro's Willingness To Break The Rules
Christy Gaylord Everest's Ability To Control The Local Press
Joe Jamail's Party Skills
Don Leebern Jr's "I Do What I Want-Ness"
The bags will be dropped and the championships will be one by this ultimate super booster.
Comments