If you're reading this you have probably seen the cringe worthy video of Dabo Swinney that has been circling around the internet. For those who haven't, here it is.
Words cannot describe the level of cringing done while watching this video. Yes, Dabo is a little bit of a goofy guy, with some extremely dad qualities, but this... Anyways, let's break down the elements of this video.
LYRICS
Here are the exact words that Dabo says in his spoken word rap:
"Hickory dickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock. Coach Swinney's got that drip, and now he's on Tik Tok."
I don't know where to even begin with this. "Hickory Dickory Dock" is a nursery rhyme that hasn't graced any parts of my brain in decades. Do parents still tell kids this rhyme? I'm seriously asking because I have not heard it. Granted, I am not a frequent listener of nursery rhymes, but this was a popular one back in the day that seems to have fallen out of the mainstream. Very interesting rhyme choice by Dabo. The second part of this is "Coach Swinney's got that drip, and now he's on Tik Tok." I think this is a very interesting contrast here by Dabo. The nursery rhyme makes him sound old as hell, but the second line is Dabo saying, "Hey high schoolers, I can talk like you too." Now, of course, since Dabo is not a high schooler this also makes him sound old as hell, but unlike the nursery rhyme this is an attempt at connecting with the young ins. This has to be the only instance in internet and human history where someone has said the Hickory Dickory Dock nursery rhyme, and talked about their "drip" at the same time. Congrats, Dabo, on that historic feat.
MOVES
Here we have Coach Swinney illustrating that the mouse did in fact run up the clock. There's nothing too complicated about this move, just an easy flow with his verse. It's a nice way to keep it simple.
Now Dabo is showing off his drip. I am not entirely sure what he's supposed to be showing off here, as that shirt has literally nothing but stripes. It doesn't even have a Nike logo. A better move here would've been to pour water on himself and literally have it drip down him. That would've made him look like a fun dad who's trying to be cool, but has no idea what the cool lingo means. That's basically what he is anyways, but this move does nothing but make him look like he's trying too hard.
Dabo then transitions into hitting the ever-popular Tik Tok dance move, The Woah. This is a smart choice by Coach Swinney, as The Woah is simple, easy, recognizable, and popular. He makes another great choice by beginning his Woah by throwing it up. That is the cleanest way to hit The Woah, and it adds to his credibility of understanding what the kids like these days. As much as we'd rather see him attempt something like the Renegade, hitting The Woah is definitely the safer play.
Coach Swinney finishes off his Tik Tok debut by flashing the Clemson gloves. This move was absolutely necessary, because if you are going to wear the gloves then you have to do this. He would've lost all credibility as a football coach if he did an entire Tik Tok wearing football gloves without flashing them. Great execution on the gloves, Dabo.
WARDROBE/BACKGROUND
Dabo made the interesting choice of shooting this video in his kitchen, instead of the Clemson football facilities. This could've been a great opportunity to show off those extravagant locker rooms, offices, and that slide they have, but Little Ol Dabo liked his kitchen better as a dance floor. This does beg the question, what is that balloon in the corner for? Logic would say that it's someone's birthday, but I'm hoping that he uses balloons to send out his recruiting letters like carrier pigeons. Now this brings us to the outfit. Coach Swinney, if you're going to make Tik Toks then you've got to dress like a Tik Toker. He choose just a plain old Nike hat, the most boring Clemson shirt he could find, and football gloves as his Tik Tok look. Next time he needs to be out there rocking a headband, a shooting sleeve, and no shirt. That's how you really look the part.
As bad as this Tik Tok is I cannot stop watching it. It must be therapeutic watching something this horribly done. I don't know what it is about it, but I can't look away. With that being said, Dabo, never do this again. Just stick to being Little Ol Dabo.
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